my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
