Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize