Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
