How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize