I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
