her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize