very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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