planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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