this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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