you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
