i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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