Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
