the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize