well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
