marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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