i barfeds in our rink
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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