I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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