did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
