I cannot find my penis.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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