the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
