You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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