he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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