Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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