Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
