hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
