Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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