her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
