Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
