Whod you bang
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
