ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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