so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
