Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
