and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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