i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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