You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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