I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
