So drunk its hurt
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
