if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
