What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
