And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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