Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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