Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
