I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize