The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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