don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
