Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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