Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
