the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
