You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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