My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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