hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
3pm strippers are depressing
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
