Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
