Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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