oh god the rape fog is back!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
