every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
