Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
