I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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