Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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