I just threw up on my dentist
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize