member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize