Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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