her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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